


les miserables

by meowy_times



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ??? - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Les Misérables References, M/M, first years in their second year, hospital au, i was too weak to kill characters, idk - Freeform, pls i tried so hard on this one, what is the time line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowy_times/pseuds/meowy_times
Summary: “But she’s like Cosette!” Yachi disgresses. Yamaguchi watches her fret as he eats more soggy french fries, for what is probably the fifth time this month. Yachi doesn’t know how he hasn't gotten tired of fries, or her.“Is she?” Tsukishima asks.“Yes! Yes,” Yachi nods to herself. “I’m like Eponine obviously, and Tanaka is like Marius.”Tsukishima’s expression shifts from “why do I have to be here?” to “why do I have to listen to this?” It’s a pained expression overall.“So… you like Tanaka then?” Yamaguchi asks.Tsukishima’s face turns to “I’m surrounded by idiots”.“Noooo!” Yachi squeals, “I just mean- like just,” she sweats, trying to explain her reasoning. “They’re so in love, you know? Like super in love!”Tsukishima scoffs. He really is surrounded by idiots. “Have you even seen them?” He steals a fry from Yamaguchi’s tray. “Kiyoko probably looks at Tanaka like he’s the dirt under her feet.”“That’s not true!” “Tanaka is nothing like Marius anyway.” Tsukishima cuts Yachi off her next ramble. “He’s not rich, he’s not a city boy, and he’s not going to war.”
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko & Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko & Yachi Hitoka, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	les miserables

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this actually has nothing to do with the musical les miserables 
> 
> it’s because... lesbian-> lesbean-> les bean-> les miserables (this is an insider joke sorta? sorry
> 
> there are songs!  
> eyes blue like the atlantic  
> she (dodie)  
> would you be so kind (dodie)
> 
> as always, check out my beta [ tsukkis_dino_plushie ](%E2%80%9C)

Yachi sits on the bench and waits. It’s uncomfortable, the long paper on top of the bench sticks to her. It shifts loudly whenever she moves. She waits for the doctors to arrive, she needs to do blood work. Yachi has never enjoyed hospitals. Her mother says she is too faint hearted to be in the medical field. It’s a good thing Yachi doesn’t want to be a doctor anyway. She doesn’t like hospitals, they smell too much of antiseptic and medicine. Yachi kicks her feet back and forth, playing with her thumbs. She hates going to the doctors. 

So for the first time in all of her visits, she runs away. 

  
  


She runs down the white hallways, a spike of adrenaline hitting her as she realizes what she’s done. Yachi hears the click of shoes and the clatter of wheels as a doctor moves down the aisle. Panic sets in, the fear that she’ll be caught. Her head is pounding. The doctor pushes a stainless steel cart, with shiny steel tools and a stack of papers clipped to a translucent yellow board. 

Now Yachi has always loved organizing. She keeps her pens and highlighters in rainbow order. Her books are sorted by genre, then height. In her second year of high school, her notes are probably better than 90% of her teachers. Her notes are fluid and meticulous and perfect, just the way a designer’s daughter should have them, with all the highlights in just the right place. 

But hospitals… hospitals are too much for Yachi. 

They keep everything in perfect little bottles with bright orange caps. They have papers upon papers, with boxes to be checked and notes about everyone, as if each patient is just a zoo animal to be observed. They keep everything clean and cold, with Lysol and bleach, and there’s no color. Yachi doesn’t know how to make sense of it all, she can’t read her own doctor’s handwriting, and it makes her feel like they’re keeping secrets. Like secretly, they’ll share her health survey with her mom, even though they told her it was ‘just between the two of them’. 

  
  


She slows now, her heart still beating a mile a minute. Everything is white. Not a nice white, Yachi has a list of the pretty shades of white. This isn’t snow white or daisy white, it’s hospital white. The walls are white. The doors are white. Her feet barely make a sound on the white tiles. 

And Yachi realizes… she’s lost. 

She tells herself not to panic, not to cry. Everything looks the same. Everything is white. She glances around the hall, trying to orient herself. Yachi realizes that the open rooms have shifted. Before, open doors led to kids like her, waiting on steel benches, standing under the stadiometer to get their height checked. Now, fewer doors are open, and the ones that are, have beds and children hooked up to devices with IV’s pumping into their bloodstream. 

Yachi tries not to look. It’s awkward. She decides whatever she has to do for the doctors isn’t so bad. She can handle a few needles and blood. But… she’s still lost. And she finds herself drawn to one room. One, just as white as the others, but different, louder. 

“You’re so beautiful today Kiyoko-san!” 

Yachi peeks in and sees a boy holding a box of pink chocolates. The boy is tall, with a buzz cut. He partially blocks the bed and patient. A girl with silky dark hair sits on the bed, in a baby blue nightgown. She doesn’t look very sick, Yachi thinks. 

“Tanaka-san, you don’t have to give me something every time you come,” Kiyoko says, taking the box regardless. 

“I love it when she talks to me!” Tanaka swoons. Yachi’s brow furrows. Are they dating? 

“Hitoka!” 

Yachi freezes. The girl, Kiyoko, turns and Yachi knows she’s been seen. Her eyes are blue, like sapphires. Like the ocean. 

  
  


_**eyes blue like the atlantic…** _

  
  


“Hitoka!” Her mother grabs her arm. “Hitoka, what are you doing?” She drags Yachi away, back to her room. Yachi wasn’t as lost as she thought she was. She gets checked over and needles get poked into her arm. They tell Yachi to look somewhere else, a childish trick that has never worked for her. She leaves the hospital with only a new set of band aids and the current horror of having to fill three vials of blood to show for it. 

“The diagnosis will take a while to figure out.” Her mother tells her. Yachi nods absentmindedly. They walk down the hallway to the entrance. Yachi sees Kiyoko and Tanaka again. Tanaka is telling a story, his arms moving wildly as he tells it.

Kiyoko gives her a covert wave and mouths, “Visit again?” 

Yachi waves back. “Sure,” she whispers. 

“What?” 

“What!” Yachi snaps back into the present. Her mother sighs. 

“Have you been paying any attention to what I’ve been saying?” 

“Umm…” Yachi tries. Her mother sighs again. The drive home is quiet and Yachi dwells on the girl. Kiyoko-san. She didn’t look sick, but Yachi couldn’t deny that she was sitting in a bed with a monitor beeping beside her. 

* * *

Yachi goes back to the hospital a week later. Earlier than before, she sneaks off while her mother talks to the doctor. In the hallway, Yachi tries to find the right room again. She realizes that she doesn’t actually know where Kiyoko’s room is, or who Kiyoko is, and she half expects Tanaka’s loud voice to lead her right to it. Instead, the only noise heard is the slight whirring and buzzing of working machines. 

“Hey…” a soft voice calls out. Yachi turns suddenly and almost trips over herself. Yachi sees Kiyoko in her room, giggling softly.

“Um…” Yachi edges into the room nervously, “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Kiyoko smiles, “I’m Shimizu Kiyoko… what’s your name?” Oh, Yachi thinks, Kiyoko is a first name. 

“Oh! Um, I’m Yachi Hitoka!” she yelps. Kiyoko laughs. 

“Can I call you Hitoka then? I think I’m older.” 

“S-sure,” Yachi stammers. Up close, she can see that Kiyoko is sick. Her skin is pale and her eyes are dull. Her laughter never quite brightens them. 

  
  


**_...and i’m going down, like the titanic_ **

  
  


Yachi looks around the room now. On a spare chair, there are boxes of Valentine’s chocolates and assorted pastries. The walls are bare, except for a cut-out news article of the Kurasuno boys volleyball team. “Fallen champions rise again!” it says. 

“Take a seat, Hitoka,” Kiyoko offers. “You can move Tanaka’s gifts to the table.” 

“Oh uh,” Yachi picks up a box of chocolates and puts it on the table. She blushes. “Who—if you don’t mind me asking—who is Tanaka?” Oh no! I overstepped! I totally overstepped! Yachi panics. 

“He’s a friend,” Kiyoko says, “He likes visiting me.” Oh. 

“S-so why are you here?” Yachi sits and adverts her eyes to the wall. Anywhere so she doesn’t have to see Kiyoko’s reaction. She reads the article on the wall. 

  
  


_[…with the arrival of prodigy setter Kageyama Tobio and energetic middle blocker Hinata Shoyo, Kurasuno High was able to make it back to the national stage… ]_

  
  


“I have a weak heart.” 

“Oh!” Yachi turns back to Kiyoko. She might’ve just ignored Kiyoko when she was supposed to be a guest. “So have you had surgery—oh my god, I’m sorry! That was so insensitive of me!” Yachi bows her head quickly, causing her hair to swing forward. A few seconds later, Yachi hears Kiyoko laugh. Her laugh is soft, like a baby bird’s down. Yachi glances back at Kiyoko and she’s smiling. Her smile is precious.

  
  


_**am i allowed to look at her like that?** _

  
  


“Yeah… yeah.” Kiyoko says. “I’ve been through surgery.” Yachi finds herself smiling with Kiyoko, despite what they’re talking about. “Why are you here?” 

“Oh, um my mom thinks I’m anemic… we were getting it checked last week.” 

  
  


_**could it be wrong… when she’s just so nice to look at?** _

  
  


“Hitoka!” Yachi turns her head sharply. Her mother stands in the doorway, eying both girls. “We have to go.” 

“Bye!” Yachi waves. 

  
  


**_eyes brown, dark and romantic…_ **

  
  


“Do you know that girl?” Yachi’s mother asks as they walk out. “Is she a friend?” 

“Uh yeah. She is.” Yachi lies. She’s only just met Kiyoko, she doesn’t know if they’re friends yet. “C-can I visit her from time to time?” 

“Of course, but you’ll have to go by yourself. I’m too busy to drive you every time.” 

“I know.” Yachi climbs into the car. On the ride home, her mother tells her that she does, in fact, have an iron-deficiency causing anemia. Yachi will have to take pills to raise the amount of iron in her blood. 

* * *

“Yachi!” Yamaguchi runs up behind her. He grins, his freckles enunciated by the sun. “You’re in the art club right?” 

“Yeah,” Yachi says. Yamaguchi catches up quickly, Tsukishima follows close behind. 

“Okay, because we have to make a poster for the volleyball club.” 

“You do? Isn’t that usually the manager’s job?” Yachi asks, walking slightly behind the boys now. They slow their pace so she can keep up with their long legs. 

“We couldn’t find a manager last year, so we don’t have anyone to do it for us.” Yamaguchi informs her. They cross the street and Yamaguchi motions to a nearby burger joint. “Can you help us?” 

  
  


They sit in one of the red booths and Tsukishima goes up to order for them. “Two things of fries for me,” Yamaguchi tells Tsukishima. 

“You’re paying me back later…” Tsukishima mutters. Yamaguchi just laughs and nods. Yachi watches them before Yamaguchi sits right across from her. 

“So,” he starts, “We want to lure more first years into volleyball, and since we won last year, we’re kinda famous?” He turns to his red bag and pulls out some papers. He shuffles through them before straightening them on the table. 

“Is it clean?” Tsukishima interrogates. He’s still standing, his face settled in its usual apathetic expression. He sits by Yamaguchi, pulling his own green bag onto his lap. She never noticed they were matching. 

“Oh, thanks Tsukki!” Yamaguchi inspects the table, holding the papers over his head. Tsukishima sighs and grabs napkins to wipe it down. 

  
  


“Okay okay,” Yamaguchi clears his throat and continues his proposition. He spreads the papers for all of them to see. “So I took some pictures of Tsukki blocking Kuroo-san at summer camp last year. And I have a few photos of Kageyama, but he always looks constipated…” Tsukishima hides a snort behind his hand. 

“You also have photos of Hinata,” Yachi notices, looking through the pieces of paper.

“Yeah.” Yamaguchi rubs his face. “But he moves too fast, see?” Yamaguchi shows a picture of what looks like an orange blur. “Ennoshita-san said Tsukki was probably going to be the easiest to draw because he doesn’t move like that much.” 

  
  


“What about you?” Yachi asks. “Or um, Tanaka-san?” 

“What?” Yamaguchi tilts his head. “Well um, no one would really be interested in a pinch server anyway… and I guess we could use some pictures of Tanaka.” 

Tsukishima stands to get their order and when he comes back, he scoffs, “Do you know Tanaka?” 

Yachi squeaks. “No not really! I just thought ‘cause like, like you said he was the ace now right?” She remembers back to a few months ago, when Yamaguchi told her that Tanaka would be the ace now. She doesn’t know if it’s the same Tanaka as Kiyoko’s Tanaka. Maybe it is, Kiyoko had a news article about the boys volleyball team on her wall. 

“Yeah…” Yamaguchi says as he tries not to eat the fries before they’re soggy, the way he likes it. “Tsukki, do you have pictures of Tanaka-san?” 

“Of course, Ennoshita-san told us to get pictures of everyone.” Tsukishima opens his bag. He rummages through it until he finds what he’s looking for. His glasses slide down his face. More pictures of the upperclassmen that Yachi doesn’t know, get spread on the table. 

  
  


“Okay, this is Kinoshita-san.” Yamaguchi points to a photo of a boy with sandy brown hair, jumping up and blocking a ball. “And Narita-san.” Yamaguchi moves to the next one, a boy with a buzz cut and smiling eyes does a peace sign in the photo. “Here’s Ennoshita-san and Noya-san.” A boy with sleepy eyes stands behind another, shorter boy with spiked hair to add to his height. 

“Ah, here are the pictures of Tanaka-san.” Yamaguchi smiles, picking up the photos to fan them out in front of Yachi. It’s the same Tanaka, but he looks different. More focused and dangerous. His eyes have a fire in them that makes Yachi afraid. 

  
  


“This one’s good.” Yachi gives her opinion. The photo she points at has Tanaka in a spiking pose, back arched, facing the lights. Yamaguchi nods and gets to work on trying to draw it while Tsukishima drinks his milkshake. Yachi pulls out her own notebook and starts drawing them. 

She draws Yamaguchi with his head down, eyes focused on the paper. She shades his hair black and tries to capture how he looks with a pencil in his hand. She adds his freckles. Tsukishima studies her himself, watching her move. It becomes a triangle of watching, Yachi studying Yamaguchi, Tsukishima analyzing her, and Yamaguchi concentrating on his art. 

When Yamaguchi finishes his sketch, he thanks Yachi for helping. She writes it off, saying she didn’t do much, before going to the nearest bus stop to visit Kiyoko. 

* * *

“So why do you have a weak heart?” 

“I was born with it,” Kiyoko puts her book down and looks at Yachi. Yachi yawns. Light peeks through the curtains to highlight her sunshine colored hair. The backdrop of monitors and machines beep steadily. 

  
  


**_…and she smells like lemongrass and sleep_ **

  
  


“Isn’t there any way to strengthen it?” Yachi asks. She yawns again and pops a chocolate in her mouth. Kiyoko told her in a previous visit that she could eat them as long as Tanaka kept giving them. 

Kiyoko smiles tiredly. Yachi quietly catalogues it in her collection of pretty pictures. “Well… the surgeries haven’t worked. I’m just waiting on a new heart now.” 

  
  


**_and i’m going down like the titanic…_**

  
  


“Oh…” Yachi stops. Then she notices more, a cart by Kiyoko, holding medicines and sheets of information. Surveys taken in blue pen and a schedule of checkups. Books stacked next to the gifts on the table. “Why can’t you get one now?” 

The sun starts to set further down the horizon, It’s rays become orange and hit Yachi’s cheeks. Kiyoko tries to decide what she looks like. A princess? She sighs, “I’m on a waiting list.” 

“Shimizu-san?” A doctor comes around the corner. “Your mother is here to see you.” 

“Oh!” Kiyoko sits up further. “Hitoka, you should probably leave then.” Her smile is genuine and Yachi knows she means well. 

“Okay!” Yachi says, “See you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it.” Kiyoko smiles. 

Yachi walks through the hallways, the fluorescent lights making her eyes hurt. A short woman with black hair moves past her quickly. She knocks into Yachi and glares. 

“Watch where you’re going!” 

Yachi squeaks and nods quickly, but the woman is gone, into Kiyoko’s room. 

* * *

The next time Yachi goes to see Kiyoko, she coincides with Tanaka. 

“Um…” She peers into the room, “Hi Kiyoko, uh Tanaka-san?” Tanaka turns to face her. He grins, not quite as scary as she thought he’d be. At the same time, he seems confused and wary of Yachi. Then he asks, “Are you one of Kiyoko’s friends?” 

“Ah! Uh yeah,” Yachi says, “Or um, I don’t know! I think so! Are we friends Kiyoko?” 

Kiyoko laughs and nods. Yachi notices how pale her skin really is, almost paper white. “So you brought something new today Tanaka?” 

“Oh! Yeah,” Tanaka smiles and ruffles around in his backpack before pulling something out. He presents it, the magazine article unfurling. “I found this in one of my old sports magazines! I don’t know how I missed it.” 

Yachi looks over it, it looks like an interview. 

  
  


_[...The crows were led to an unexpected victory by captain Sawamura Daichi and vice captain Sugawara Koushi. We asked them a few questions about how they felt, coming to the national stage after four years…]_

  
  


“Hey, you wanna do a dramatic reading of it?” Tanaka grins and sits in one of the plastic white chairs. 

“Sure,” Yachi sits in the other, quickly skimming over the rest of the interview. 

“Okay! I’ll be the interviewer.” Tanaka grins at Yachi. She notices his clothes, he’s still wearing a black uniform, required for school. Tanaka turns to his magazine cutout and rereads the first part. Then, he clears his throat and says, in a deeper voice: 

_“So oh mighty crows, what do you think of this incredible and deserved victory?”_

Yachi giggles a little at his voice and the way he enunciated “deserved”. She knows he’s making it up and changing the words. Tanaka shoves the scrap of paper into her hands and says, in his regular voice, “You read Daichi-san and Suga.” 

Yachi nods quickly and looks over the paper. 

_“We were very lucky_ — uh— _this year and worked very hard. I was glad to be a part of it.”_ Yachi reads, trying to change her voice like Tanaka. 

_“You say part of it has to do with luck, what do you mean?”_

“Uh— _Well if Hinata_ ,” Yachi pauses. She knew Hinata was in the volleyball team, she knew they won. Why wasn’t she more aware of it? She clears her throat, “ _and the other first years didn’t decide to come to Kurasuno, I don’t know what would’ve happened this year._ Um, this next bit is a new person, Sugawara-san?” 

Yachi coughs and tries a new voice. Deeper, darker. “ _Yeah!_ ” She sounds like a bullfrog croaking, “ _We definitely owe Tsukishima! He blocked lots of big spikes and came up with great strategies!_ ” Yachi didn’t know that Tsukishima actually tried in volleyball club… 

  
  


Tanaka though, bursts into laughter. His laugh is hearty and full, he doesn’t stop. Even Kiyoko giggles a little. “Suga-san doesn’t sound like that!” Tanaka clutches his stomach to avoid laughing more. 

“Suga’s voice is softer, brighter,” Kiyoko tells Yachi. Yachi’s face goes red in embarrassment and she starts spewing apologies. 

Tanaka waves his hand, “No no, it’s fine,” he chuckles, “I’ll just have to tell Suga next time I see him!” 

_[We moved on then, to ask other teammates how they felt about the win._

_Hinata: It was like bam! Whoosh! Boom! Then the ball hit the ground and it was all over! I felt like bwahhh inside and it was so amazing!!! We’re amazing!_

_Kageyama: It felt good. This is another step to the national league._

_Tsukishima: No comment._

_Yamaguchi: Tsukki’s actually really proud! I am too. We earned it!]_

Yachi reads over the next section of the interview. Kiyoko finds it in herself to read aloud Yamaguchi’s comment and Yachi handles Hinata’s. Tanaka makes fun of Tsukishima and Kageyama by giving them unnaturally high voices. Yachi laughs and the room melts away. Suddenly it feels like they’re at the park, warm sun hitting their skin and bright blue skies above them. They’re no longer high schoolers trying to keep company to a sick friend. 

  
  


_**eyes brown, warm and romantic...** _

  
  


Tanaka reads aloud the last parts of the interview. 

_[We decided to also ask some next generation captains and aces on what they thought about passing on the torch! Starting with Sawamura-san and Ennoshita-san: ]_

“I can be Daichi this time,” Tanaka declares. _“Ennoshita is definitely ready to be the next captain, I have full faith in him.”_

Yachi reads Ennoshita. She’s only met him a few times: when Hinata talks her all the way to the gym when she’s supposed to be in the art room; when Yamaguchi and Tsukishima walk her home and they run into him and Yamaguchi waves. She knows that he’s usually reserved, _“I don’t know… Tanaka and Noya are a handful…”_

_“Hey!”_ Tanaka cuts in, somehow reading deeper than when he read Daichi or the interviewer. 

“You don’t sound like that!” Kiyoko exclaims. It’s the loudest Yachi’s heard her voice. 

“Sure I do!” Tanaka responds, still keeping up the deep voice gig. “Noya too! You know we guys have deep voices, right?” Now Tanaka looks over at Yachi, asking her not Kiyoko. 

“Um well,” Yachi flounders, “You don’t really—“ “It’s more manly!” Tanaka interrupts, “That’s just how it is!” 

“Okay okay,” Kiyoko laughs, “Keep doing the interview.” 

“What interview?” Tanaka feigns confusion, “Am I doing an interview? Okay… first question. Mrs. Kiyoko-san, why are you so beautiful?” He leans in slightly, wearing that goofy grin of his. He’s flirting. 

“Get back to the interview.” Kiyoko says. Her voice has changed, the fun lilt no longer there. Only Yachi sees the tiny frown on her face. 

  
  


**_...and i’m going down like the titanic_ **

  
  


“Um,” Yachi sees that Sugawara is supposed to speak next. She tries make her voice brighter, but still masculine. _“You trust Ennoshita with the team more than me! And I’m the vice captain!”_

_[Okay! seems like both Sugawara and Sawamura trust Ennoshita to take care of Kurasuno. Now, let’s move on to the current and future ace, Azumane-san and Tanaka-san!_

_Interviewer: Azumane-san, how do you feel passing down the title to Tanaka-san?_

_Azumane: Umm, w-well he’s a lot stronger than me so I’m sure he’ll do fine!”_

_Tanaka: You’re plenty strong Asahi! You’re the ace aren’t ya?_

_Azumane: I-I guess so?_

_Nishinoya: You’re super strong Asahi!”_

_Interviewer: Yes, Azumane-san you are strong… now Tanaka-san, do you think you’ll become a vice captain?_

_Tanaka: Oh… well, that’s all up to Chika, if he wants me to be his vice. But I think Kinnoshita and Narita would be good vice captains too._

_Well… it seems like the Kurasuno ace was actually a lot more shy than he looks, and Tanaka-san seems ready to be an ace though. He may also become vice captain!]_

Tanaka puts off the voices to return to his regular one for this part. Yachi reads aloud the interviewer and Asahi’s voice, making fewer mistakes. 

When Yachi leaves, she walks out with Tanaka. He walks ahead of her, more relaxed in a hospital than her. He puts hands in nonexistent pockets. Yachi is too anxious now to try and strike up a conversation with him. 

* * *

Yachi goes to the burger joint with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima again. Yamaguchi tells her about all the girls who ask Tsukishima out. He talks openly, Tsukishima ignoring them both. “I wish I could just tell them to stop,” Yamaguchi complains, “They don’t need to ask me about if Tsukki will ‘say yes’ because he won’t!” 

“How do you know I won’t ‘say yes’?” Tsukishima uses Yamaguchi’s emphasis. 

Yamaguchi turns to him, his eyebrows drawn together in exasperation. “You haven’t liked a girl in all of the… one, two, three, all eight years I’ve known you!” He counts on his fingers and shoves them into Tsukishima’s face. “Seriously…” Yamaguchi throws his head back against the booth. “I don’t think you like anyone.” He smiles and touches Tsukishima’s cheek, a content atmosphere suddenly apparent around them.

Yachi just nods, pretends to agree, and bites into a crisp fry. “How’s the poster going?” she asks. 

“Oh!” Yamaguchi says, “Here!” He pulls out a roll of paper and holds it out like a child proudly presenting his artwork to his mother. 

Tanaka flies high, the bright light illuminating his face. His eyes burn with a passion and resilience that Yachi can’t describe. It’s good. “I just have to color it now!” 

“You have to add words too.” Tsukishima looks over Yamaguchi’s shoulder. They’re in the same configuration as last week, and like usual, they fall into the same routine. Yamaguchi pulls out a box of color pencils and sets them out, over Tsukishima’s space. Tsukishima tolerates it, though Yachi knows he only does it because it’s Yamaguchi. Tsukishima sighs loudly and leans back, eying Yachi through his glasses. Yachi pulls out her notebook and this time draws him. His slender face and delicate nose. His cold eyes and blond hair. Tsukishima sees her do so and scrunches up his nose, annoyed. He doesn’t try to stop her though, so she assumes she can continue. 

When she finishes, Yachi shows Tsukishima. His face twists in disgust, but Yachi knows he probably doesn’t mean it. It’s because she drew him in particular, when he doesn’t like to be observed. Yamaguchi, who was oblivious to all this, turns up and asks, “So Yacchan, what have you been doing lately? We haven’t actually talked recently.” 

“Oh!” Yachi grins, “I met a girl!” 

Tsukishima cocks his head to the side quizzically. It’s Yamaguchi who asks, “What… do you mean?” 

“Well, I went to the hospital and I saw this girl there, and I made friends with the girl, her name is Kiyoko-san and she’s super pretty and oh my god, I think I love her!” Yachi rambles, not realizing what she’s said until she’s said it. Tsukishima stiffens slightly and Yamaguchi’s face only creases in concern. Yachi doesn’t really know why. 

“...Why were you at the hospital Yacchan?” 

“I’m anemic,” Yachi says, like it’s the easiest thing, “I needed to get blood work.” 

“Okayyy,” Tsukishima hangs on the last syllables. “Now why do you think you’re in love with her?” He drawls. 

“Um,” Yachi thinks. Kiyoko’s soft laugh in the afternoon. Her brighter smiles, in the orange light of the setting sun. Her voice, calm and relaxing and sweet. The way she holds herself, listening quietly to the antics and shenanigans of Tanaka. The way she accepts every one of Tanaka’s gifts, even though she can’t eat the chocolates he gives. Her black hair, that falls over her shoulders, and blue eyes, deeper than the ocean itself… “Well I— she’s just so perfect and I want to give her something b-but I don’t know what she likes and I don’t know, she’s just so pretty!” 

“Let’s get her something then,” Yamaguchi grins. “We can go to the corner store right now!” Tsukishima sighs, but gets up first to let Yamaguchi out of the booth. 

“A-are you sure?” Yachi starts putting things back into her bag. 

“Yeah! I can even pay,” Yamaguchi points to himself proudly and Tsukishima rolls his eyes. 

“O-okay,” Yachi gets up. 

  
  


At the store, Yamaguchi helps her find candies and jellies. Tsukishima browses the aisles, like he isn’t even connected to him. To be fair, they’re raiding the cheap candy section, for both Kiyoko and themselves. There’s one instance, when they go to the produce aisle, and Tsukishima pops up behind them, scaring Yachi. 

“I found this.” His voice is still flat and bored, but he holds up a small green dinosaur plush. 

Yamaguchi laughs, “Where?” Tsukishima just points to the claw machine in the far corner of the store. 

“I won it.” 

“Oh!” Yamaguchi grins, “Good job Tsukki!” 

Yamaguchi pays for the fruit and candy they want, then he and Tsukishima split off on their way home. Tsukishima is still smiling at his prize. So Yachi goes home by herself. Her mom isn’t home again so she cuts the fruit into slices and little cubes. Then, she goes to the hospital by herself. She rides up to the second floor, where Kiyoko is, clutching the plastic bag tightly, like it’s treasure. 

Yachi involuntarily squeaks when the elevator dings and the doors slide open. She’s never been nervous to see Kiyoko before. 

She skitters down the aisle, turning at the eighth door to the left, room 208. Kiyoko smiles when Yachi enters. “Is school over?” she asks. 

Yachi nods, sitting anxiously and putting the bag on the floor. Then, she changes her mind, and grabs the bag again. She shoves it forward, pushing her head down. “Here! This is for you!” She tenses, anticipating some bad response. 

“What is it?”

“Oh—uh,” Yachi looks into the bag. She reaches in and pulls out the snacks. “I got a-applesauce, peaches, um nectarines, cent candy… jellies,” Yachi blushes, “apple juice and lemonade.” She places everything on the table by Kiyoko’s bed. Next to Tanaka’s constant gifts… they must look like nothing. 

  
  


**_...she tastes like apple juice and peach_ **

  
  


Kiyoko just grabs a juice box and opens it. “Thank you,” she says, “I love peaches.”

* * *

“But she’s like Cosette!” Yachi disgresses. Yamaguchi watches her fret as he eats more soggy french fries, for what is probably the fifth time this month. Yachi doesn’t know how he hasn't gotten tired of fries, or her.

“Is she?” Tsukishima asks. 

“Yes! Yes,” Yachi nods to herself. “I’m like Eponine obviously, and Tanaka is like Marius.” 

Tsukishima’s expression shifts from “why do I have to be here?” to “why do I have to listen to this?” It’s a pained expression overall. 

“So… you like Tanaka then?” Yamaguchi asks. 

Tsukishima’s face turns to “I’m surrounded by idiots”. 

“Noooo!” Yachi squeals, “I just mean- like just,” she sweats, trying to explain her reasoning. “They’re so in love, you know? Like super in love!” 

Tsukishima scoffs. He really is surrounded by idiots. “Have you even seen them?” He steals a fry from Yamaguchi’s tray. “Kiyoko probably looks at Tanaka like he’s the dirt under her feet.” 

“That’s not true!” “Tanaka is nothing like Marius anyway.” Tsukishima cuts Yachi off her next ramble. “He’s not rich, he’s not a city boy, and he’s not going to war.” 

“Okay but she’s beautiful and makes me feel like, like!” Yachi can’t even find a word to describe her feelings toward Kiyoko. 

“Draw her.” Tsukishima deadpans. “You like to draw us—“ “What!” Yamaguchi goes red like he’s suddenly eaten a very hot curry. He brings his current poster up to cover his face. Tsukishima rolls his eyes. 

“I-I guess I could.” Yachi says. “Can I take some photos?” 

“Of the volleyball team? Sure,” Tsukishima stands up. Yachi gets up at the same time. Tsukishima hands her a stack of photos, “They aren’t labeled,” he says. 

Yachi takes them and looks at the top photo of the whole team. Ennoshita stands in the center, surrounded by three others. A boy with silver-blond hair and a boy with cropped hair have their arms around him. The third doesn’t even look like a high schooler, tall, with a beard and long hair tied up in a bun. Then, on the right, Noya is on Tanaka’s shoulders, both of them clearly laughing. Next to them is Hinata and Kageyama, Hinata is throwing out a peace sign. On Ennoshita’s left is Kinoshita, Narita, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. The left is much less chaotic than the right. 

“Who are they?” Yachi asks, pointing to the three in the center. 

“Oh,” Yamaguchi stands and clears the table. “That’s Daichi-san, Suga-san, and Asahi-san.” He points to each respectively. “They were in our third years last year.” 

  
  


They keep talking about Yachi’s slight crisis, even after they’ve left the diner. Yamaguchi leans forward and says, “If anything Yacchan, you could be Cosette because you’re blond.” 

“Yamaguchi can be Marius,” Tsukishima snorts. 

“Hey!” Yamaguchi walks in front of them, then turns on his foot to walk backwards. He points at Tsukishima and puts on his best dissatisfied face. His brows draw together and his nose scrunches up, “You’re only saying that because I have freckles.” 

“No,” Tsukishima denies, “I say it because you have the range for it.” 

“How do you know that? I don’t sing.” 

“Sure you do… in the shower.” Tsukishima smirks. Yachi giggles and when she sees how red Yamaguchi’s face has gone, she bursts out laughing. 

“Who’s Eponine then?” Yachi asks, still giggling. 

“Hmmm,” Yamaguchi hums, “It has to be Tsukki!” 

Tsukishima looks both taken aback and appalled. “Why me?” 

“Because,” Yamaguchi grins, “You have the range for it.” 

Tsukishima pretends to throw up on the sidewalk. “I do not-“ “Besides, you’re the only one left,” Yamaguchi interrupts. 

They pass Yachi’s house and she says goodbye, leaving the boys to argue out that Tsukishima can not play a girl’s range in a hypothetical musical they’re putting on.

* * *

Yachi sits at her desk, staring at the empty canvas in front of her. It’s spring, which means it’s time to recruit new first years into their club. Which apparently, for the art club, translates to running a whole art show. Yachi has to paint a centerpiece. She doesn’t even paint. She likes pencils and bright colors and life. Yachi leans back in her chair and lets it spin slowly. Groaning, she stares at the ceiling. 

Her phone buzzes on her nightstand. It buzzes again. And again. She grabs it, sliding it open with the password. 

From Yamaguchi: 

_hey i just contacted some old senpai_

_they have older pictures_

_do u want to see them?_

To Yamaguchi: 

_sure!_

Yachi doesn’t have any reason in particular to want old volleyball pictures, but she agrees anyway. It could be inspiration. Yachi waits a few minutes, before a file download pops up. She presses it and it loads into a photo. 

From Yamaguchi: 

_idk who most of them are_

_but the captain has puffy curly hair and is named tashiro_

_also this is from when daichi, suga, and asahi were first years_

Yachi looks over the photo. The team crowds together and leans in toward the camera. They seem happy, still proud of their accomplishments despite their luck. They lost, didn’t they? That was why they were called the Fallen Champions and the Flightless Crows. Towards the center, there are four first years, being squeezed by their upperclassman. Suga grins, squishing up against Asahi and doing a peace sign. Daichi is on the other side, leaning on top of Asahi, ultimately causing Asahi to have the least space. A girl with glasses, stands just behind Daichi. She smiles and Yachi thinks she recognizes her. 

  
  


**_oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture…_ **

  
  


Kiyoko looks shyer in the picture than she does in real life. Then again, the photo is three years old… and a lot can change in three years. Kiyoko has her hair in short pigtails, she looks more girlish, less grown up. Her glasses have pink frames. 

Yachi knows what to paint now. 

  
  


Yachi goes to the hospital, ignoring the fact that it’s almost eight pm. Her mother is on another business trip and won’t be home for another week. Yachi knocks on Kiyoko’s door and opens it slightly when she doesn’t get an answer. Kiyoko lays back on a throne of pillows, eyes closed. 

“Kiyoko-san?” Yachi whispers. 

Kiyoko’s eyes open slowly. Yachi has never been the best at confrontation or even just speaking to people. Why does this feel like an interview? Kiyoko doesn’t quite smile, her lips quirk upwards instead. 

“Um…” Yachi looks at the two magazine cutouts on the wall. “Were you ever part of the volleyball team?” 

Kiyoko opens her mouth, then closes it. Then she says, “In my first year… yes.” 

“Is this you?!” Yachi just about shoves her phone screen into Kiyoko’s face. Kiyoko squints at it. 

“I- yes that’s me,” she cringes slightly. “I was a lot better then.” 

Yachi falters. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe sick people didn’t like to be painted or drawn. She decides, anyway, to try. “Uh,” she starts. Wow, what a great start. “C-can I draw you? Because like! I have to do this assignment for art club and I just think you’re so pretty and— oh my god I need to stop.” Her voice speeds up and gets shriller until the end, when she realizes she’s probably overstepped her boundaries. 

Kiyoko doesn’t laugh, but she seems happier. “Thank you Hitoka-chan, you’re very pretty too.” 

  
  


**_and she means everything to me…_ **

  
  


“You can… but promise you’ll go see one of Ryuu’s practice games?” 

  
  


**_oh, i’d never tell…_ **

  
  


“O-okay!” Yachi brings her hand up into a salute. A promise that she will keep. “Um I- can I take a picture of you?” 

“Sure.” Kiyoko tries harder to smile for her. Yachi doesn’t have a camera so she uses her phone to snap a picture. 

* * *

Yachi gets news about volleyball games from Hinata. The moment he hears her ask about it, he’s off the walls. 

“Oh! We have a practice match with Nekoma coming up! You should come, you should definitely come! It’s gonna be so fun! And Kenma’s a vice captain now, do you know Kenma? He’s a super cool setter, do you know what a setter is?”

Yachi does actually know what a setter is. Being friends with four volleyball players will teach you that Kageyama is a setter, Hinata and Tsukishima are middle blockers, and Yamaguchi is a pinch server. Yachi even knows the vague basics of a setter from Kageyama, though he didn’t seem to know how to describe it with words.

Hinata rambles on, “It’s tomorrow, you should totally sneak in! Or I can ask Ukai, do you think Ukai would mind?” 

Yachi shrugs and pulls herself away from Hinata to head towards the art room. It’s a short walk from her class and soon she finds herself in a room filled with easels. A few people are already in the room, setting up canvases and mixing paints. Yachi finds herself an empty easel in the back corner of the room. Out of all the talented artists, Yachi is the one with the biggest pressure on her shoulders.

A centerpiece. 

For an art show. 

For the whole school to see. 

Yachi sets up her canvas and stares. She pulls out her phone and clicks on the photo of Kiyoko. Kiyoko sits up in her bed, the window behind her. The curtains are halfway drawn and light still peaks into the room, causing Kiyoko to look like an angel. Her hands are folded neatly in her lap and she still wears a blue nightgown. Her dark hair falls down like silk, framing her face. Yachi has a week to draw this. 

  
  


Yachi starts with the face. If anything, she can draw faces. She decides at some point to cut out most of the hospital bed, keeping only the silver railing in front. When she finishes her light sketch, people are already putting away things. She hadn’t noticed how time flew past her as she tried to catch Kiyoko’s likeness. 

“Woah, Yachi that looks cool,” Ayaka comments as she passes by. “Is it your centerpiece?” 

“Um yeah,” Yachi doesn’t know how to take compliments, “Thanks!”

She grabs the canvas off the stand. There’s a fair chance that she’ll paint it at home instead and do other, smaller projects here. Carrying it under her arm, she folded up the easel and stacked it with the others. 

* * *

Game day comes before the art show, so Yachi sneaks onto the bus behind Hinata. Somehow she blends in surprisingly well, sitting squished between Hinata and Kageyama towards the back. Kageyama’s large frame blocks her from general view and she’s too short to be seen over the bus seats. 

“This is gonna be so fun, Yacchan!” Hinata whisper-shouts. Yachi giggles and nods. It terrifies her, slightly, that she’s breaking the rules and hiding in a bus to Tokyo. Tokyo… What if she gets stuck in Tokyo? She doesn’t know how to get back, and technically it isn’t a long bus trip but what if she can’t get a bus? What if she misses the last bus and she’s stuck in Tokyo forever? Or she gets caught and… and Hinata gets in trouble and gets kicked off the team? Oh, he’d definitely hate her then. 

“Yachi-san?” Kageyama says in a hushed voice. Yachi snaps out of her thoughts. She’s sweating and her hands are shaking. “Are you okay?”

“I… yeah,” Yachi sighs. “I’m fine!” She grins at Kageyama. 

The entire bus goes quiet and Yachi realizes how loud her voice must’ve been. 

  
  


“Yacchan?” Yamaguchi’s whisper rings out in the silence. 

“Who was that?” Ukai’s voice is louder and rougher than Yamaguchi’s. “Hello?” 

Yachi squeaks. She’s trembling now. Kageyama turns his body more away from her, so that he faces the aisle, blocking her even more. Hinata, unlike her, is frozen and too afraid to move. 

“I-It was me!” Yamaguchi calls out, but even Yachi can pick up the shakiness of his voice. She lets out a tiny breath though and silently thanks Yamaguchi for covering. 

“No no…” Ukai stands up. He waves Yamaguchi off and says, “I know that was you, who was before you? I didn’t recognize their voice.” Yachi tenses again. Ukai slowly moves down the bus aisle, checking over everyone. 

“I don’t know if this’ll work,” Kageyama grimaces, “Can you duck?” Yachi silently ducks down and Kageyama returns to sitting normally. 

  
  


When Ukai reaches them, he pauses. “Don’t you two usually sit up front?” 

“Uhhh, we wanted to change it up y’know? It’s not like we’re hiding anything or anyone!” Yachi can’t see Hinata, but she knows it’s bad. Kageyama clicks his tongue and Hinata groans. There’s no point hiding now, Ukai basically knows. Yachi swings her head up from her knees and sighs. “Hi!” She looks at Ukai and smiles nervously with a false cheer. 

Ukai scrunches up his face and asks, “Who are you?” 

Just then, the bus takes a large turn and the ground shakes. Ukai balances himself, grabbing on the backs of the seats. 

“I’m Yachi! Second year, class five! I’m sorry for sneaking onto your bus!” She apologizes. This is a mess. Tanaka, sitting conveniently in the seat in front of them, turns around. Yachi can see the confusion in his face. 

Ukai sighs and rubs his forehead. “Okay well… we’re almost there. Then you can explain.” 

  
  


“Yachi! What are you doing here?” Tanaka asks. 

“Umm, I’m here to watch you guys play?” 

“Yeah!” Hinata now shouts, “Yachi finally wants to see how awesome we are!” 

There’s a rippling laugh that travels throughout the bus now that almost everything is clear. 

“Woooo!” Noya climbs onto his seat in the front and faces Yachi. “I finally get to see Yamaguchi’s girlfriend!” He grins, “I bet she’s cute!”

Yachi blushes. Flustered, both she and Yamaguchi yell, “She’s not my girlfriend!” and “He’s not my boyfriend! at the same time. 

Noya laughs boisterously. “I was kidding. I was kidding.” 

* * *

“Why did Noya think we were dating?” 

“Uhh,” Yamaguchi chuckles, “Because I sorta… liked you in first year?” 

Tsukishima snorts next to him. Yachi turns to face him, but he doesn’t say anything. Just glares and pushes up his glasses. “Why did you have to sneak on the bus?”

“Well,” Yachi glances at Tanaka. He’s laughing with Noya and Kinoshita. Does he know? “Kiyoko wanted me to.” They’ve unboarded the bus and are walking toward the Nekoma gym. 

“Why?” Tsukishima speaks up now, like Kiyoko’s caught his attention. 

“Umm… she used to be the volleyball manager?” Yachi offers. It feels strange to say; Yachi’s only known Kiyoko in a hospital bed. Tsukishima looks surprised, his eyebrows raising and his eyes widening. Yamaguchi, on the other hand, says a soft “oh”. 

  
  


When they get to the gym, the Nekoma team is waiting for them. A loud “Bro!!!” echoes through the hall. Tanaka runs up to a boy from the other team and chest bumps him. They grin at each other, and the boy says, “Hey, did you know I’m the captain now bro?” 

The captain is the same height as Tanaka, and has the same look in his eyes. He also has a buzz cut, but his hair is bleached yellow. They look almost like brothers. 

“Shut up Yamamoto,” a shorter boy mumbles. Yachi hadn’t noticed him hiding behind the others. 

“Yeah! I’m vice captain now!” Tanaka says proudly, not hearing the shorter boy’s comment. Yachi thinks he doesn’t care either. 

“Woahhh!” Yamamoto yells, pointing at Yachi. She squeaks and tries to hide fruitlessly behind Tsukishima, who moves away from her. “You got a cute manager??” Yachi blushes and shakes her head. Yamamoto looks confused. 

“She’s not our manager, but yeah, she’s really cute, isn’t she?” Tanaka puts his arm around Yamamoto and grins at Yachi. 

“Okay!” Ennoshita claps his hands. Ennoshita smiles dangerously, telling them that they’ve spent too much time dawdling. “Warm up everyone.” 

  
  


While everyone runs laps and stretches, Yachi sits uncomfortably by Ukai and Takeda. Takeda starts the conversation. 

“So, why did you sneak on the bus Yachi?” 

Yachi fidgets. “I-I wanted to see a volleyball game.” 

“Why didn’t you or Hinata ask?” 

“I- we thought that I wouldn’t be allowed to go. And I really wanted to, see, a friend asked me to.” Yachi explains.

“You two could’ve just asked,” Ukai sighs, “It would’ve been easier for us.” 

Yachi hesitates, then looks at the ground shamefully. “Are we in trouble?” 

“Nah,” Ukai says, “It’s fine, sorta funny though. Usually we don’t have an audience at practice games.” 

Yachi nods and stares at a patch on the ground. It’s highlighted by the light coming through the windows. Maybe she shouldn’t have come anyway. This was a bad idea. 

“Yachi!” Hinata bounces up to the bench, the small blond trailing behind him. “This is Kenma!” Yachi looks up at the blond. His hair is bleached that way on the ends, but now she can see that he has darker roots. 

“Hi!” 

“Hey,” Kenma says, uninterested. The conversation ends there, partially because Yachi doesn’t know how to continue and partially because Coach Nekomata tells them to start playing. 

Both teams separate into their own circle of cheers. Yachi jumps when Kurasuno shouts their cheer. She glances across the gym at Nekoma’s circle. They’re much quieter, but Yachi hears them saying something about blood. …Blood? People didn’t bleed in volleyball, right? They didn’t die. 

Ennoshita walks up to the net to meet Yamamoto, on the other side. They shake hands and somehow the tension increases. Yachi can feel it settling around the gym like a heavy, dangerous blanket. 

  
  


Yachi watches the ball, absolutely spellbound. It bounces back and forth, making a loud “bang!” when it hits the ground. Yachi yelps and Takeda laughs. 

“You’re jumpy, huh?” He comments. 

Yachi shifts and nods, turning back to the game. Tanaka runs up to the net, jumping. He slams the ball down, evading a tall silver-haired blocker. Yachi squeaks excitedly and cheers. Tanaka does a battle cry, and slaps Kageyama on the back. 

“We’re gonna beat you!” He grins at the other team. Kenma looks annoyed by it, but Yamamoto just shouts back. 

“In your dreams!” 

  
  


They lose. It ends so unexpectedly, that Yachi doesn’t realize until Yamamoto yells about it. They lost. Yachi feels dread fill her body as the captains shake hands again. 

  
  


_**and oh it aches...** _

  
  


“Let’s play again!!” Hinata shouts. 

  
**_  
_ **

**_…but it feels oddly good to hurt_ **

  
  


There’s a pause, then Ukai calls them back to the bench. He switches out Narita for Yamaguchi. Kinoshita sighs beside Yachi but doesn’t say anything. Ukai hears it though. 

“You’ll get your turn,” he says gruffly. 

Tanaka is an ace. Yachi knew that. She just… didn’t expect him to be so good. She’s not sure why she doubted him, he didn’t seem the type to be an ace to her anymore. He was the soft and kind boy, who always cared for Kiyoko. Who was loyal to a fault and funny. …Now that Yachi thinks about it, he does fit the ace. He’s strong and trustworthy. Yachi knows he’d never leave something that mattered to him, no matter how hard it got. 

A volleyball flies just past Yachi’s face. It moves too fast for her to register it, but Tanaka shouts a quick “Watch out!” and Kinoshita moves her away. 

“Careful,” Kinoshita tells her. She’s still too shell shocked to move. Their reflexes were amazing. 

“Are you okay?” Tanaka jogs over to retrieve the ball. Yachi nods slowly. 

  
  


Kinoshita gets switched in for Tsukishima’s serve. Tsukishima doesn’t sit, but he stands by her, saying nothing. The watch together as Kinoshita executes a well aimed serve. It’s different from the regular serves and more like Yamaguchi’s special serve. It floats and becomes harder for Shibayama, the Nekoma libero, to receive. But he manages to catch it, and Kenma sets it to Lev. Lev hits it in, Yachi watches as Hinata moves under the ball and bumps it up. 

  
  


They win this time. 

  
  


Hinata and Kageyama insist on playing another seven games, so that when they all board the bus, everyone is exhausted. Yachi sits between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi this time. Tsukishima sinks into his seat and sleeps. Yamaguchi leans on her shoulder and snores softly. Yachi almost falls asleep herself, despite the fact she didn’t play.

* * *

“Join the art club!” Ayaka waves fliers at passing first years. No one looks particularly interested, passing by to another club. “Just our luck,” Ayaka grumbles, “Of course the cooking club gets more attention because they’re handing out cupcakes.” 

“Well we get more people to come by, right?” A boy asks, “They’re attracted by cupcakes and we get new members.” 

“Well yeah,” Ayaka sighs and flops into a chair. She almost falls backwards because of the force she put on it. 

“Don’t give up!” Yachi smiles encouragingly. Just as she does a loud shout echoes down the hall. 

  
  


“Coming throughhhh!” Tanaka and Noya shout. Everyone stops their advertising to watch the boys run down the hall. Yachi sees the rest of the team getting dragged behind them. Tsukishima looks disgruntled, his face twisted in disgust as he gets dragged away. Yamaguchi is chasing after them and Hinata is laughing beside him. 

Tanaka stops suddenly, causing Tsukishima to jolt forward. “What the hell?” Tsukishima mutters. Tanaka quickly pulls the two of them out of the stampede. 

Tanaka doesn’t say anything for a while. He doesn’t answer Tsukishima. “Is that painting for sale?” Tanaka points to Yachi’s painting of Kiyoko. 

“What! No!” Ayaka pushes against the table in annoyance. “It’s a _display_ , we need it to get more members and after, Yachi’s gonna take it home!” She glances back at Yachi for some type of approval. 

“Ugh,” Tsukishima mutters, “So you took my advice?” 

Tanaka doesn’t seem to hear it while looking at the painting of Kiyoko. Yachi can see in his eyes, tracing every line of Kiyoko’s face. “H-how much?” 

“It’s not for sale! Jeez! You stupid volleyball brats think you can just storm the hallway then ask to buy a painting?” 

Yachi hesitates, then says, “I-It’s alright Ayaka-san. He can buy it after club day is over.” Ayaka turns to Yachi in disbelief. She doesn’t say anything, but she sighs exasperatedly, reminding Yachi of her mother. 

Tsukishima has moved on to taking the cooking clubs cupcakes and Tanaka is still standing in awe. At some point, Ennoshita comes running back down the hall. 

“We thought we lost you,” he huffs, glaring at the boys. “Hi Yachi,” his demeanor changes and he smiles at Yachi and Ayaka before leaving again.

  
  


Once they’re gone, Ayaka looks at Yachi. She doesn’t seem particularly angry, just confused, “Do you know them?” she asks. 

* * *

  
  


**_i have a question…_ **

  
  


“Hitoka!” 

“Hi, Kiyoko-san!” Yachi pauses. The painting of Kiyoko is hung on the wall. “D-did Tanaka do that?” She points at the painting. 

  
  


**_it might seem strange…_ **

  
  


“Yeah, Tanaka insisted on putting it up.” 

“Kiyoko-san?” Yachi sits in the plastic hospital chair. She realizes that she doesn’t hate hospitals anymore. Kiyoko is here. “Do you like it?” 

Kiyoko sighs, “You make me look so beautiful… even when I’m not.” 

“But you are! You’re like t-the most beautiful person I know! L-like an angel or a princess, a-a queen!” Yachi yelps. “W-what do you want to do with your life Kiyoko-san?” Yachi withdraws into a different subject. 

“If I get discharged… I want to go to a butterfly garden.”

“Oh! There’s one in Tokyo, wanna go?” 

“Right now?” Kiyoko asks and Yachi realizes how foolish this is. Kiyoko is too weak to go all the way to Tokyo. 

“No!” Yachi shakes her head quickly, “I- no…” her voice trails off and she sighs. “When you get better?” she offers. Kiyoko frowns but doesn’t respond. “Or do you want to walk now?” 

  
**_  
_ **

**_...how are your lungs?_ **

  
  


Kiyoko calls a nurse from her bedside table. They rush in asking what’s wrong, but Kiyoko calmly tells them to unhook her machines. Incredulously, they ask why and Kiyoko tells them she wants to walk around the hospital. A tour of sorts, for Yachi since she doesn’t know the hospital as well. After Kiyoko reassures that she doesn’t need a wheelchair, the nurse sighs and tells them to be careful. 

“Is it safe?” Yachi whispers as Kiyoko turns to get out of bed. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“It’s fine,” Kiyoko huffs, wobbling on her feet as she stands. It occurs to Yachi that this is the first time she’s seen Kiyoko standing. Kiyoko is clearly taller than her. “Let’s go.” Kiyoko grabs her hand and pulls her out of the room. 

Kiyoko knows this hospital, she’s been to almost every corner of it. She’s made temporary friends who always get discharged before her. Or maybe they’ve died, Kiyoko doesn’t want to think about that. So she leads Yachi to her favorite part of the hospital. 

“Why do you want to go to a butterfly garden?” Yachi asks, her hand pressed against cold glass, watching the babies in the maternity ward. 

  
  


**_...are they in pain?_ **

  
  


“Because,” Kiyoko joins her by the glass. “Butterflies symbolize life.” She sighs and lets her hand slide down, “Besides… they’re really pretty.” She smiles wistfully at Yachi.

Yachi looks at Kiyoko. She’s a princess, a child, a ghost. Yachi doesn’t want to play with the idea that a Kiyoko could be a ghost… She hates the idea. Kiyoko has long black hair and soft white skin; she could easily become a movie ghost with a little makeup. 

Yachi shakes her head, clearly the spiral she had started. Kiyoko won’t become a ghost. They don’t move for a while, watching the babies cry in their compartments. 

  
  


**_‘cause mine are aching…_ **

  
  


“Babies are cute, aren’t they?” Yachi comments. 

“Mmm I guess,” Kiyoko hums. 

“Why’s this your favorite place?” 

“They remind me that people have potential. When they grow up, they can do anything.” 

  
  


**_…think i know why_ **

* * *

Yachi draws more of Kiyoko then. Even when Kiyoko is asleep and Yachi sits alone in the room. She draws butterflies, becoming a master at painting their bright wings in a few strokes. She draws Kiyoko, with the help of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, playing volleyball. It’s an alternative universe, where Kiyoko is neither sick nor a manager. 

She draws the team slowly, throughout weeks, capturing their jumps and serves. Even Hinata, who is too fast to just capture, poses for Yachi to draw. Hinata apparently gets joked at for the next few practices for it. 

Kiyoko’s room fills with color. It isn’t white anymore, shades of orange and blue and bright yellow surround Kiyoko in the next few weeks. 

  
  


**_i kinda like it though…_ **

  
  


“Hitoka…” Yachi glances at Kiyoko. Most of her time in the hospital is spent in silence now. It’s surprising to hear Kiyoko’s voice again. 

“Yeah?” 

  
  


**_...you wanna try?_ **

  
  


“Well I get better… can we go to Tokyo?”

“Sure…” Yachi says. It had been a while since Kiyoko had even mentioned Tokyo and butterfly gardens. Tanaka had said she’d given up. He’d known about her wish before. 

Yachi sits up a little straighter. “Do you know how far up the list you are?” 

“... They said soon… but soon can be three months or next week… I just have to wait.” 

Something about that makes Yachi wilt, but she tries not to show it, for Kiyoko’s sake. 

* * *

“Kiyoko-san?”

  
  


And sometimes… Yachi forgets that she’s sick. 

Kiyoko’s skin is paler than Yachi’s ever seen it, like if she just touched it, it would wither away, and Kiyoko would be gone. Kiyoko looks like a ghost, her eyes dull and drooping tiredly. She can’t even keep them open. Her gaze is unfocused, trying to look at Yachi but failing. Kiyoko’s hair no longer has the shine it once did. Her heart monitor beeps slowly and quietly. Then Yachi realizes… Kiyoko is dying. 

“Don’t worry,” Kiyoko breathes. 

But Yachi worries. It’s in her nature, her disposition, to worry. She imagines, standing in front of a grave, at a funeral for a girl she feels she hardly knew. She imagines, standing next to Tanaka, who will surely act all tough but eventually break down, for the sick girl who stole both their hearts. 

Even when hers wasn’t good enough.

  
  


_**oh do me a favor…** _

  
  


“Shimizu-san!” a doctor Yachi now knows as Yamada-san, rushes in. He catches his breath, then says, “Shimizu, we have a heart for you!” 

Yachi’s throat closes up. She doesn’t know what to feel. Elated that Kiyoko has a chance? Terrified that she might not make it? She doesn’t know. 

“Does… does my mother know?” Kiyoko asks. 

“Yes, we’ve contacted her,” Yamaha-san says, “We need to do everything now.” His voice is urgent. 

Yachi opens her mouth to say something. Anything to Kiyoko, in case she doesn’t make it. Yachi hates being so pessimistic. But Kiyoko beckons her forward, closer, until Yachi’s face is hovering right over Kiyoko’s. Her eyes are closed and she looks almost… asleep. Then, Kiyoko raises up and her lips meet Yachi’s. It’s soft like a butterfly’s wing and not at all how Yachi imagined her first kiss going. 

Yachi stumbles back from the bed, shocked. She sees Kiyoko smile, the first time in weeks. Her eyes light up, just the slightest flicker of hope. 

  
  


And then Kiyoko is ushered away for surgery. Yachi sits in the room, alone now. She texts Tanaka, he needs to know. 

To Tanaka:

_Kiyoko got a heart_

_she’s in surgery right now_

Tanaka makes it there in record time. “I was just around the corner,” he pants, slumping into a chair. Then he looks around the room and realizes it’s just Yachi. 

They sit in silence, Yachi anxiously twirling her hair and Tanaka sitting with his elbows on his knees, praying to some invisible god. Yachi doesn’t tell him about the butterfly kiss. 

Thirty minutes later, Tanaka sighs. He sits up and asks, “Do you think she’s okay?” 

Yachi opens her mouth to respond, but again no words come out. Then she says, “I don’t know…” 

  
  


**_can your heart rate rise a little…_ **

  
  


Two more hours pass and Yachi has turned to counting all the tiles on the ceiling and floor. It’s hard to keep track, she keeps forgetting which tiles she’s already counted. Tanaka’s eyes are watching the photos and drawings on the wall. Drawing Yachi made. There’s Kiyoko and Tanaka and the rest of the volleyball team. 

“Let’s play a game!” Yachi squeaks, breaking the silence. Her voice feels too big for the room. 

“What game?” Tanaka asks. His voice is reserved, defeated. He turns to face Yachi and she realizes that he’s been crying, silently. 

“I-“ I don’t know. “I-spy! We can play I-spy.” Yachi clutches the edge of her skirt nervously. 

Tanaka looks around the room quietly. He seems to have accepted it. “I spy with my little eye… something beautiful.” 

Yachi tries to find something beautiful. It’s hard, especially in this hospital, where everything is cleaned and double checked and cleaned again. It’s just cold and white. She glances around the room, to the bed, unmade from Kiyoko’s departure, to the monitor, no longer beeping, because Kiyoko isn’t there. She can’t find anything. Then, she looks at Tanaka and follows his gaze, up the wall, to a drawing of Kiyoko that Yachi did. Kiyoko is bright, her eyes filled with determination. She wears a number eight jersey, in a spiking position with her hair in a ponytail. She wears the same sports glasses as Tsukishima would in a game. 

“...Kiyoko,” she answers. 

The game ends there. 

  
  


Another two hours… or is it three hours later, Tanaka is still studying Yachi’s art. Yachi is staring out the window, watching the thin white curtains blow in the wind. Birds chirp happily outside, completely unaware of the risks people are taking inside. A butterfly flits past Yachi’s line of sight. It has blue wings, like the ocean. 

“Do… do you want to know how I met Kiyoko?” Tanaka offers, getting up to stand by Yachi’s chair at the window. He looks awkward and wistful, watching the people below, moving in the street. 

“S-sure.” 

Tanaka glances at her, then pulls his chair closer to hers. “W-well,” he chuckles, “In my first year of high school, I broke my arm.” His face twists as he tries to remember, “I think it was because Noya and I were trying to climb the tallest tree. I fell.” 

Yachi gasps. “Well I went to the hospital obviously,” Tanaka continues, “And after the x-rays and cast fitting, I decided to explore. I wanted to tell Noya about my cool expedition into the unknown.” He chuckles and it turns into a strange choked noise. “I was so stupid.” 

Tanaka sighs, “I found Kiyoko because her door was the only one open with no visitors. And… she was so beautiful, y’know,” he smiles. Yachi does know. “I saw her and I proposed immediately. I was so stupid,” Tanaka says, “Can you imagine? Some stupid kid you don’t even know, falling to his knees and asking you to marry you?” His voice gets softer, “You don’t even know if you’re getting out alive…” 

Tanaka drops his elbows to his knees and brings his hands up to his head. “She let me stay. She was so gracious and always accepted my gifts… even though I knew she probably wouldn’t eat the chocolates.” He smiles warmly at Yachi and she feels the guilt. She was the one who ate the chocolates now, Tanaka must’ve known. “It’s okay,” he says, “It’s a waste of chocolate if no one eats it…” 

There’s a pause of silence and Yachi thinks he’s finished until he starts again. “I met her in my first year,” he repeats, “I’m in my third year now… Kiyoko actually graduated. I used to take her on walks around the hospital.” His eyes seem to fog over. “We explored all the hallways and floors until it felt like we knew the whole hospital. We’d get lost at first and I was always in so much trouble when the doctors found us.” He lets out a strangled laugh. “But her laughs and smiles were so worth it, the way she looked at me was worth it… I told her that when she got discharged, I’d take her everywhere in the world…” His voice dies off and they sit in silence again. 

  
  


When the sun starts to set, washing the entire room in orange, a nurse notices them. She reminds them of visiting hours and that it is currently past them. Yachi doesn’t want to leave. She knows Tanaka doesn’t want to either. Tanaka tries to convince the nurse that they’ll only be there “a little longer” but Yachi doesn’t know how much “a little longer” is. He tells the nurse that they’ll be quiet and stay out of the way when Kiyoko comes back in. That they won’t cause any problems. But the nurse just sighs and says that they can’t stay overnight; it’ll be too much trouble anyway. 

So they leave.

* * *

Yachi wakes up earlier than she means to the next morning. “4:58 am” blinks at her from her digital clock. She rolls over and lets out a small sigh. Why did worrying for someone make it so much harder to sleep? Whatever. Yachi decides that 4:58 is not so early in the morning and finds it in herself to change into a basic sweater and pants. She’s going to the hospital. 

Her mom isn’t home again, so that isn’t an issue. Still, Yachi tiptoes across the rooms and out the door. The buses should already be running, but she’s missed the nearest one and the nest one is in an hour. She is not going to wait at 4:59 now, in the morning, for another bus. 

It’s her luck that a car passes by her house then. It stops in front and Yachi moves suspiciously towards it. Then the door opens to reveal Tanaka, who invites her in. 

It’s a mostly silent ride, other than the general “hey” and “I knew you’d be awake.” Tanaka’s sister, Saeko, drives in front. She looks tired and maybe Yachi feels a little guilty. When they get there, Saeko drops them off silently. Tanaka shivers at the morning chill. “Let’s go,” he whispers. 

  
  


They get into the hospital and it’s so much warmer than outside. Tanaka lets out a relieved sigh, then his face gets serious again. Yachi lets Tanaka talk to the front desk. They ride up to Kiyoko’s room. The world seems so quiet around them. Tanaka opens the door with caution, and they see her. 

Kiyoko lays on the bed, breathing and asleep. Tanaka sits in the further chair, “You can take the other one,” he whispers. Yachi sits closer to Kiyoko’s bedside and watches apprehensively as she breathes. A few minutes pass, then Tanaka says, “You should go to sleep, it’s still five in the morning.” 

Yachi doesn’t want to sleep. But she’s tired, staying up so late really took a toll on her. She feels her eyes drooping and she yawns silently. 

* * *

Yachi wakes up again, when the sun starts peaking through the closed curtains. She looks at Kiyoko, a sleeping princess. Tanaka’s soft snores can be heard from his chair. The steady beating of the monitor gives them a reassuring feeling. Kiyoko is alive. 

It stays like this for a while, until Tanaka wakes up. He smiles drowsily at Yachi. “Thank you,” he says. 

“What for?”

“Staying with her.” Tanaka whispers. “She always liked you better, you know. I’m glad you stayed here.” 

Yachi doesn’t know what to say. Tanaka smiles and shakes his head, he understands. It was weird for him to say things like that. They observe Kiyoko a little longer, relieved that her heart is beating.

  
  


And then the unimaginable happens.

The monitor stops beeping rhythmically and flatlines into a terrible buzzing sound. Yachi stands up, causing her chair to screech across the floor. She opens her mouth to scream, to shout for help, but again, nothing comes out. Tanaka seems glued to his seat, like no matter how much he wants to, he can’t move. Then he bursts into action. 

He jumps up and swings open the door. He opens his mouth to yell, but is knocked into by doctors rushing in. Yachi vaguely registers that she’s being forced aside as she stands. 

  
  


**_oh do me a favor…_ **

  
  


The doctors move quickly. Getting the defibrillator ready and using it on Kiyoko’s chest. Yachi watches in horror as they try and try again to make it work. 

  
  


_**…can your heartbeat rise a little?** _

  
  


Yachi doesn’t realize she’s crying until her hand comes up to her cheek and she feels the wetness of tears. Tanaka is crying too, just as silently. She looks up at him, but he isn’t looking at her. He’s praying again, his fists clenched together in hope of saving Kiyoko. 

The slightly beep can be heard from one of the machines. Then a few more. And Yachi dares to look up and see the heart rate rise and stabilize. She finds herself unable to smile though, still too afraid something might go wrong. Tanaka knows this too, but he slumps against the wall in relief. The doctors whisper to each other and scribble down notes. It feels like hours, for what might’ve only been half an hour of panic. 

But it’s ok. 

Kiyoko survived. 

* * *

Months later and into the next spring, Yachi gets a text from Kiyoko telling her to meet by the hospital bus stop. Kiyoko left the hospital and they stayed in touch from there, trading numbers and meeting each other in the park. 

From Kiyoko-san:

_bring your friends_

Yachi calls Yamaguchi, who coincidentally is almost always with Tsukishima. They agree to go, and Yamaguchi even offers to buy ice cream afterwards. Neither of them have met Kiyoko, but they’ve heard enough from Yachi. 

  
  


“Yacchan!” Tanaka bounds up to them. He’s graduated now, moved into college to become an athletic trainer. “And Yamaguchi and Tsukki!” He grins. 

“Don’t call me that…” Tsukishima grumbles. 

Kiyoko giggles, her voice still as soft as the first time Yachi heard it. 

  
  


_**oh would you be so kind** _

  
  


“Where are we going?” Yachi asks. 

“Ehhh? I thought you knew,” Tanaka says as the bus rolls up to a stop. “We’re going to the butterfly garden.” 

They board the bus, but it’s too crowded to all sit together. Yachi and Kiyoko find seats in the front of the bus, while Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Tanaka get jostled around towards the back. Yachi watches as they travel backwards, Tsukishima being taller than most of the other patrons. 

The bus ride is a quiet one for Yachi. ...Or as quiet as it can get in a busy bus to Tokyo. When they get off, Tanaka points acts as their tour guide, saying that since he’s been to Tokyo the most, he’s their best bet. 

“Tanaka-san… my phone says it’s that way.” Yamaguchi points to his left. 

“Ah right!” Tanaka laughs. Tsukishima visibly rolls his eyes and sighs. “Let’s go this way then.” 

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we just used a GPS?” 

Kiyoko grabs onto Yachi’s shoulders and leans forward. “That takes all the fun out of it,” she smiles at Tsukishima. Tsukishima’s sour face starts to melt away, though it probably isn’t intentional. 

  
  


**_as to fall in love with me_ **

  
  


They get to the butterfly garden an hour later than intended. As a result, Tsukishima is grumpier than usual and Kiyoko is already kind of tired. Tanaka buys tickets and somehow manages to get a student entry for Kiyoko and himself. 

Once truly inside, Yachi gasps. It’s breathtaking. Bright flowers, in shades of pink and orange and purple surround them, and multiple types of butterflies fly around the dome. 

  
  


_**you see, i’m trying** _

  
  


Kiyoko smiles and Yachi feels warmer. Kiyoko starts to move up the walkway to bring her higher and more into the butterfly’s world. Yachi trots behind her like a dog, happy because Kiyoko is happy. Even Tsukishima seems to be enjoying himself. 

“That’s a red admiral.” Tsukishima points out a black butterfly to Yamaguchi. It flies past them, revealing the red stripes on its wings. “They’re from Great Britain.” 

Yamaguchi looks at him in awe, probably more occupied by Tsukishima than the red butterfly. 

  
  


“Hitoka-chan! Over here!” Kiyoko’s voice echoes around the dome from even higher up. 

  
  


**_i know you know that i like you_ **

  
  


Yachi looks up and sees Tanaka and Kiyoko waving. She waves back. “Up here!” Tanaka calls. They’ve had the luxury of being the only people in the garden. Yachi half-runs half-walks up the ramps, her hand sliding up the railing. 

“Look.” Tanaka points to an information board set up by the rails. “It says that most of the plants on the ground level are for baby caterpillars.” 

  
  


**_but that’s not enough_ **

  
  


Kiyoko is sitting on the ground now, looking between the bars to see the butterflies. Black and white ones flicker past her face and she giggles. Yachi and Tanaka join her in sitting and pressing their faces against the bars. 

“Hi!” Yachi waves at Yamaguchi, who notices and waves enthusiastically back at her. 

“We’re looking at the caterpillars!” He tells her. She gives him a thumbs up. 

  
  


**_so if you will_ **

**_  
  
_ **

**_please fall in love with me_ **

  
  


A butterfly with black and blue wings lands on Kiyoko’s nose. She stares as it flaps its wings, almost going cross-eyed. 

  
  


**_i think it’s only fair_ **

  
  


Yachi giggles, causing the butterfly to fly away. Tanaka, who’s been sitting as still as a rock, is somehow covered in butterflies. “I can’t see…” Tanaka mumbles, trying not to disturb any of the butterflies currently resting on him. 

“Now you know how I feel.” Tsukishima jokes as he and Yamaguchi climb the stairs. “Yachi, you have butterflies in your hair.” 

  
  


**_there’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere_ **

  
  


“Oh!” Yachi instinctively moves her hands up to feel her head. 

“They’re gone.” Tsukishima tells her. 

  
  


**_wanna share?_ **

**Author's Note:**

> alright alright... actual notes about how tired an dead i am. this took like... 2 months and i usually don’t write 10k. i think you can tell where i died by the writing uh idk... also pls call me out for formatting so i can fix it later, because i can’t be bothered rn  
> i am still proud of this tho
> 
> with that, i have homework to do lol
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated <3<3<3


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